I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize