I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
