You work out of a Hotel?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
