I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
