her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
