Yo dont text me then not text me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
