So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
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If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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