She said her name was "party"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
