id be glad to
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize