I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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