I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
