He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
PANTIES FOUND
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