She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
