THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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