hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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