Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
