No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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