Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
