break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
