It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
