Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize