I'm eating all of the evidence.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
