My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need help removing her.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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