If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize