He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
