Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
