Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
