we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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