i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
