Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
