Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
