And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
