On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
