i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
