guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
