my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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