Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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