I need help removing her.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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