Having a random hookup so left but love u
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
