You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
