So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
