belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
