The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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