But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my phone needs a breathalizer
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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