I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
