____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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