Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
