I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
