Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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