I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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