i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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