if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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