I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
