2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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