I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We are two peas in an std pod
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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