Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Shame is for Republicans.
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