Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
