Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
