I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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