Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
