Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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