so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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