let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
True strength comes from lack of pants
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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