it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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