So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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