i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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