batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
